It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize