wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
