No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Randomize
