How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The struggles of a small town man whore
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
