she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
