Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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