No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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