Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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