He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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