My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
