could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize