...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
