UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
