The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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