Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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