Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
