Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
