at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
worst night to have a conscience
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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