i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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