You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
