I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
