that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
