i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize