I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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