You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
