I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
