we have officially lost it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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