D3 body, D1 cock
dude i'm inner monologue high
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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