It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
