yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
