I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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