4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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