it was like his penis was on wheels.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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