Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
