Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you will always have a special place in my vag
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
