I love black thongs
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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