Tell her she can't have a vagina
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
