gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
