Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
