brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize