and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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