This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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