i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
