She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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