that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
