i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize