What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
