your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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