I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
