do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's blow job season.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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