I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
