I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Small penises have feelings too.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
