i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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