I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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