Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Randomize
