the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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