ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
