Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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