life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize