Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The convent might be a nice break from real life
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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