This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
