I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
