Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
