My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
ttyl tear gas
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
