umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I intend to get homeless drunk
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My vagina is very pro this idea
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
