Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize