Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
