yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
