I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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