Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
