I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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