honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize